I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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