i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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