You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
