how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
