it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
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We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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