I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
