Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
