Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
