Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
