Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
