Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
