He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
