i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize