The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
there is glitter all over my balls
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