can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize