is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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