they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
