another moral hangover. fuck.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you traded sex for a burrito?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just had sex on a roof
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
