The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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