Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
