I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
