i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize