Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
