I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize