ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
