You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
