I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
