I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
do nipples grow back?
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