I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You need a sexual gate keeper
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
