so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
