if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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