I think I am morally bankrupt
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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