Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
