fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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