In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
