Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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