There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize