wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They have beer where we have blood.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
