hotel room ftw
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
