Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize