my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think a kid would responsible me up
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He better not be in your backpack
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
