i wish my penis had a tongue
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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