Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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