I'm so fucking centered right now
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
