The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
