Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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