I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
