Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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