ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
