It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My vagina is officially offended.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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