I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
