I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
