so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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