their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
