wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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