Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
