HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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