this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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