That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
