I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
