I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
