Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
