he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
