Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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