what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
