I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
