he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Houston, we have a blender
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Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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