Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
