no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
