Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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